[ Tuesday. July 26th 4:56 pm.] alright give it up already. >.< im so heartless, but whatever. lmfao 1 ... Darling, lets break the bed

[ Friday. July 8th 4:40 pm.] OLIVER OPENS TONIGHT Be there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3 ... Darling, lets break the bed

[ Monday. July 4th 1:41 am.] ATTENTION! OLIVER will be playing at Theatre Macon on the following dates at the following times. I would LOVE for you to come see me, or us, or IT. Whatever. :) Just be there!... Please? :( Friday, July 8th -- 8pm Saturday, July 9th --- 8pm Sunday, July 10th --- 2:30 pm Monday, July 11th --- NO SHOW Tuesday, July 12th --- 7:30 pm Wednesday, July 13th --- 7:30 pm Thursday, July 14th --- 7:30 pm Friday, July 15th --- 8 pm Saturday, July 16th --- 8 pm Sunday, July 17 --- 2:30 pm Monday July 18th --- NO SHOW Tuesday, July 19th --- NO SHOW Wednesday, July 20th --- 7:30 pm Thursday, July 21st --- 7:30 pm Friday, July 22nd --- 8 pm Saturday, July 23rd --- 8 pm Sunday, July 24th --- 2:30 pm Monday July 25th --- NO SHOW Tuesday, July 26th --- NO SHOW Wednesday, July 27th --- 7:30 pm Thursday, July 28th --- 7:30 pm Friday, July 29th --- 8 pm Saturday, July 30th --- 8 pm There it is. I will see you ALL there, at SOME time or another, or more than once :D Love<333 CHASE 2 ... Darling, lets break the bed

[ Sunday. June 12th 8:17 pm.] Last night was alot of fun. Laura&i watched the Exorsist, which was entirely too boring. &then Team America, which was pretty damn funny. We ate pizza, which sucked, and icecream, which rocked. Today, I have been being a lazy ass. Showers &pjs. How fun. 2 ... Darling, lets break the bed

[ Saturday. June 11th 3:01 pm.] So, I redid my lj layout, and maybe I can start using it some. Lately, I haven't been up to much. Me and Laura have been hanging out some. Saw Madagascar, which was good, but not as good as it could have been. Oliverrrr is coming along well, I suppose. Summer has been well, for once. last summer sucked. Right now, I'm sitting here listening to xtina, which I find myself doing alot lately. I really do like her, despite everyone thinking shes a slut. I think that If I had a body like hers, I would show it off too, but that doesn't mean that she's sleeping around, now does it? no. So, shut your mouths. :) Tonight, I'm hanging out with Laura, and we're going to try to find something to do, which could be quite a task. But we seem to have fun no matter what. I will keep updating, I promise. If not, you all should scold me. thanksss. 1 ... Darling, lets break the bed

[ Saturday. April 30th 1:23 pm.] Hey look, I'm updating. Except not. Things have been so hectic. I don't think I ever posted when me and Js got back together on April 1st. Well, we did, and things were kind of wierd for a while, but then on prom night I thought we had made everything perfect between us, after all that had happened. He messed up that night though, because after he left my house, he went and cheated on me. And we go into detail there. We broke up and I thought I couldn't go on. I thought "If I can't trust you, who can I trust?" I soon noticed that I have too much ahead of me to dwell on this hurt. I have theatre, cheerleading, grades, and so much to look forward to. I'm so happy knowing that I am happy without him, if that makes any sense. I'm so glad to know that I can be strong when the time comes. And now I'll wait. I thought nothing would come along for me, but he did, and for awhile, it was the best time of my life. I can wait a little longer for someone new. Thanks lj for listening. Thank you all. :) <33 1 ... Darling, lets break the bed

[ Friday. April 8th 11:31 pm.] Oh god. I'm crying and I can't figure out why. I hate being so selfish. 2 ... Darling, lets break the bed

[ Sunday. March 20th 6:48 pm.] He's confusing me and it hurts. Thursday, after school, Me, Js, Jacky, and Eva went to eat at Steak and Shake. After that js took Jacky and Eva home. We wound up holding hands and kissing in the car. I asked what it meant and he said that it meant he missed me. He doesn't show interest in wanting me back. I just don't understand it. It's not fair. I may have done wrong, but I feel like his play toy. It's just not fair, and it hurts... 1 ... Darling, lets break the bed

[ Sunday. March 13th 1:54 pm.] Well, so much for that. I hate this. Hate it. 5 ... Darling, lets break the bed

[ Sunday. March 13th 1:39 pm.] This weekend really has been a good weekend, and it will end in a good way, no matter how our situation turns out. Saturday, me and mommy went out shopping for me. I just got my track pants and some shirts. We don't go shopping alot anymore. We used to get out every Saturday, and after shopping go eat Chinese food. I went and saw Grease with Kathleen, Laura and Jacky. It was so good. Everyone in it spectacularly well. That was a damn pretty cast. Guys and girls. Theatre people are just plain hot. Auditions are Monday, and I'm really excited as well as nervous. I'm thinking of dropping Somewhere Over The Rainbow. It's just not coming out the way I want it. I got some helpful pointers in Chorus on Friday. Today... Will be an interesting day. me and him are going out to our spot to talk. We need it. It doesn't matter how things turn out, I just want them to be ok- with me, with him. I do love you. 1 ... Darling, lets break the bed

[ Saturday. March 12th 12:16 am.] ...Or so you think. Asshole mother fucker. Sorry. Tonight was alot of fun. Darling, lets break the bed

[ Friday. March 11th 6:49 pm.] Tonight. Watching "Saw" with Megan at her house. I'm glad we're hanging out more. I love you Megan!! 5 ... Darling, lets break the bed

[ Thursday. March 10th 4:46 pm.] Today. It was a good day. I wasn't cranky at all. The week overall, really. It hasn't been too bad. The coldness is really begining to piss me off. I hate being limited on what to wear. I'm ready for spring. First block today was somewhat busy. It was our first day reporting to the gym. Me, Haley and Brooke were out about 50% of the time. Looking for Steven, and watching the drama kids. It was peachy. Second wasn't too bad, for once. The class is still stupider than a sack of bricks. (that makes me sound like an old lady) Chorus was ok. We wasted more time, of course, when festival is in 2 days. We worked on a fucking warm up song for 15 minuets. We'll be ok, I think. I worked on my audition piece. (auditions are monday) It was pretty good. Literature was the best it's been in a while. Alot of the class was out on a strings trip to Atlanta, so it was quiet. We talked about a story all period long. I love class discussions in there. They're great... I got my hair cut, finally. It's pretty hot. I got some hair glue too. I'll work on some styles. 3 ... Darling, lets break the bed

[ Wednesday. March 9th 4:26 pm.] I'm switching over. From xanga to here. Everyone else is. I might as well follow so I'm not alone over there. Le sigh. 1 ... Darling, lets break the bed

[ Tuesday. February 22nd 3:00 am.] I guess you might say this is a private journal away from Js. I would feel awkward posting this on xanga in his face. As much as it hurts me to admit to myself and to others, he and I are over. We broke up Sunday, the love of my life, gone. He said that we were 'taking a break,' whatever that means. I feel no resentment towards him, to clear all of that up. He said that he hopes that one day, he'll be 'back to normal' and we can have that love that once had. I'm feeling much better about the situation right now. I feel free and alone. Two emotions that actually go well with one another. I did notice then and do notice now that he held me back from being myself. Not in a way that he would break up with me if I didn't act a certain way, but I just felt more obligated to be reserved and non-touchy with everyone, which just isn't me. I don't think I'll be alone forever. As long as I waited for him, and as wonderful as it was, I'm willing to wait forever to have it again, not that I'll have to, I don't think. I'm ok with the way things are. I hope he is. He doesn't seem too good. I hope it's not just an act to make me feel important. I don't know if people really see just how in love with him I was. It's hard to descirbe how much feelings I had towards him. But it seems like it all fell away. At the begining he was so dedicated to me, and making me happy (not that that was his job), and dedicated to our relationship. And then about a week ago, it all just went downhill. Valentines day was good, but everyday after was just nothing. I do miss him, and it is very hard not saying 'I love you' after every convorsation. I'll have to get used to not having that suport that he gave to me again. He came to watch me audition for Christ's sake. I'll be waiting for awhile to find someone as good as him again, If it's even possible. Whereever you are, John-Stephen, I love you, still, with all of my heart. And I'm sorry. Darling, lets break the bed

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